he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
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