If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
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