is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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