i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Randomize
