I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Randomize
