Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
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