My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
