I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
