turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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