Define "chronic" masturbator.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
