we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
