I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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