I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
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