Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
If its not for food we ain't going out.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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