dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
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