OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Randomize
