Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Girls should come with a carfax report
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
