I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize