It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize