Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Randomize
