I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
