my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
