My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
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