i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
