I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
