I don't think brook has ever known best
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Randomize
