i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
