Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
