I'm pants shitting drunk right now
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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