I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
