She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize