Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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