Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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