Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
