We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
