I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
