I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize