so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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