Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Mom said you looked used
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Randomize
