guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
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