Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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