It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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