i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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