Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
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