I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
