I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
