don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
