i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Randomize