Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
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