My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
third nipple confirmed
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
