At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I believe in your delicious
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
