you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
