Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Randomize
