super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
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