First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Randomize
