i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
she looked like the before picture.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Randomize
