Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
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