Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Randomize
