just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Even my vagina gasped.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Randomize
