I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Your shirt... Was in my pants
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
