and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
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