Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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