Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
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