Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
